marți, 29 noiembrie 2016

So, here I am. Standing between some major adjustements in my life and thinking of you. Right now, my life is pretty much boring. You know, going to college and squeezin' my brain out just tryin' to figure out how to deal with this.. little non-existent (as I preffer to call it) thing for you, and other bussines. Well, let's say I've heard some really unnicely things tonight and I really wanna make a decision. I wanna change something. Im thinking if I got something going on my life now, this would be much easier. I mean, keeping my mind off could be such a really healthy thing to do. Let's see, maybe it will work out, eventually. By then, today I was looking for you and you weren't there. I assumed it was a slightly chance for you to be there, but I risked it anyway. I talked to R. and it was sorta' fun. He's nice. Not like I used to think he is, he impressed me somehow. He's smart, just like you, and he also knows so many things, just like you. He's cute and fun to laugh with, but he's not you. Yes, he's handsome, you could easly fall for him, although he has a girlfriend. I would have preffered you a thousand times before him. Well, I'd preffer nothing, but you. Im in this place,  when I see something and it burns me inside this much, like this thing I feel and felt for you, I want nothing more just to deeply feel it through my veins, don't get me wrong, I kinda' like this sort of unwanted thing, but it also drives me insane to have this unexpectable lust for you body and your soul, for this craving for you words. Maybe now you're holding hands with her, whispering in her ear how much you want her, not even dreamin' about the fact that somebody thinks of you the way I do. I didn't get through that and I don't think I will any sooner. I just have this feeling, I guess, something must happen. You eyes don't lie. Or I'm just fucking out of my mind and everything I see around drives me to your beautiful eyes and voice. Im dyin' believe me, to hold hands with you, kiss you, call you cute names and do insanely things with you. I'd never get tired of you. You're way to much to my personal existence and you, being close, I'd end up in a mental illness hospital or something like that. But you're already a health professional, aren't you? Can you be my doctor, can you fix me up? I'd wish, truly, believe me. I'd give a thousand days just to have a few near you. I'd give away all these stupid little niggas, just to know I'd hold your lovely arms. I'd be crazy about you, I just know that. You're the most addictive things my body knows. 

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